Lullaby of Deserted Hell
by SweetLoveCries
Summary: Today was just one of those days where everything around me reminded me of you and every song I heard was somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have... FugakuXMinato; dedicated for ExtinctionOfReality!


**Lullaby of Deserted Hell**

_FugakuXMinato_

-Dedicated to **ExtinctionOfReality**-

**Setting**: Slightly after Minato's death, around 7 months

**Inspirational music**: Touhou- Lullaby of Deserted Hell - Music box Version

Davy Jones - Music Box with Rain (I suggest listening to this while reading)

Not beta-ed. Point out glaring mistakes or if you like it you can beta it.

It was raining again.

April brought so much rain, the unshed tears of those that were forbidden to cry. It mourned instead of those that had to stay strong, with facade and wall so high up when they only wanted to scream their hearts out.

Uchiha Fugaku stood at the window, gazing at the puddles of water on the street. It was barely two o'clock in the afternoon and yet it was so dark outside, as if it was night already. His face didn't show what he was thinking about. His wife never learned to read him, and his sons didn't need to know what was on his mind just yet.

And even if they did, would it matter to them? Would they understand? His wife would feel betrayed that his thoughts weren't occupied by her or the children, and his sons were too young. They didn't even know the person that he was thinking about.

Uchiha Mikoto entered the room, carrying tray with tea and tea cakes, setting down on coffee table. Fugaku turned to look at her as she prepared the table next to the window for the tea. She was humming some melody, something he didn't hear, but it didn't matter.

"Itachi is watching over Sasuke. He's singing him a lullaby," Mikoto said with smile on her face. Fugaku only nodded and turned to look out of the window again. He could clearly see the Hokage mountain from where he was standing. It passed several months since then, but he still couldn't believe it. It was so surreal and his mind opposed to accept the fact that it happened.

The silent click of the spoon against the cup brought him back to present and he made his way towards the table. Mikoto was already sitting, taking small sips of the tea that was steaming. They sat in silence as Fugaku added sugar to his tea, stirring the liquid slowly.

"Itachi is doing so well in school," Mikoto smiled, trying to start a conversation. Fugaku nodded, taking a sip of the beverage: "That's the way it should be."  
Mikoto sighed and looked out of the window: "Are you sure we are not pushing him too much?" Fugaku looked at her. She fidgeted: "I mean... I understand that he is a genius and that whatever he does is impeccable but, he is still just a child."

"You know what clan would say if they hear you talk like that."  
Mikoto frowned: "I don't care. He is my child. If I see you push him over his limits, there will be pain, Fugaku."

He didn't say anything. It was pointless. Besides- he never heard Itachi complaining about the training. He guessed because Itachi had stubborn personality, but he could easily read if his son couldn't do something.

"I will be out tomorrow. Don't wait for me until late," he said, finishing up his drink. Mikoto eyed him worriedly, but only nodded. It would be pointless to argue.

Fugaku stood up and straightened his kimono, then left the room, closing the door silently behind him, in case Sasuke fell asleep.

April 10th.

Seven months. Has it been that much already? Time went by much faster than he would have wanted; taking away things he wanted to keep. Time was ruthless, unforgiving.

It was raining again, but Uchiha Fugaku paid no heed to it. He could clearly hear his footsteps over the sound of rain, his eyes looking forward. The rain... he wished it could wipe away everything- every feeling and thought he had, to calm down the turmoil in his chest.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he noticed the figure standing at the corner of the street. He could recognize the person anywhere.

"Ah, Fugaku. Visiting the little one again?" Sarutobi muttered, leaving the pipe in the inner pocket of the Hokage's cloak.  
Fugaku only nodded, and received a nod of understanding in return. He didn't know how much the old man Hiruzen knew, and Sarutobi himself never talked about it either.

They were greeted by the nurse and led to the nursing room of the orphanage. He usually never hesitated to enter, but he wasn't feeling quite good with the old man following him.

Sarutobi didn't seem to notice Fugaku's hesitation, and if he did- he didn't say anything about it. He approached the crib and picked up the laughing, bright bundle, chuckling himself.  
"He looks so much like his father."

Fugaku felt lump in his throat. He didn't move from the door as he watched Sarutobi play with the kid, tickling the boy who laughed non-stop. With another chuckle, Sarutobi walked over to Fugaku, handing him over the boy.

"I need to speak with the nurse. It seems Naruto has a fever," old man muttered, leaving the room.

Fugaku watched him leave then looked down at the bright child. He did look slightly flushed, and considering that the nursery isn't the warmest place, there was high possibility that Naruto did have a fever.

After lots of hair pulling and poking the cheek, the blond bundle seem to tire out and just leaned his head on Fugaku's shoulder, not knowing just how hard that action stabbed the older man, right into the heart.

With a heavy sigh, he walked over to the lounge chair in the corner of the room, sitting down and pulling out a small box from his pocket. Blue eyes watched it curiously and wanted to take it, but Fugaku left it on the small table next to the chair, and opened it.

A melody- soft, slow melody of a lullaby filled the room, making the child yawn and settle down for a nap in Fugaku's arms.  
Fugaku felt warm, so warm and calm. He was holding the piece of _him_, a boy that looked so much like him that it was painful. He caressed the baby boys back slowly, closing his eyes.

"He left us, didn't he? That stupid father of yours... Left us and made our lives a living hell..."

He didn't notice when the old man came back because he dozed off as well, holding the son of the man that he cherished the most. And he didn't notice the sad look he got from the Hokage either...

It was evening when Uchiha Fugaku left the orphanage, hands stuffed in his pockets with frown on his face. He was woken up by Naruto who was fascinated with Fugaku's bangs so he had the urge to pull on them. Until he woke up.

The rain had slowed down to a drizzle and there were people on the street now, chatting and having no worries at all.  
He still had one more place to visit today before he could go home. If he didn't go there, there would be no sleep.

People stopped to greet him, the Chief of Police, and some were eager to chat with him too but he brushed them off. He turned into a darker street, hands in his pockets. He knew the street so well, like a palm of his hand. Usually he is not bothering to pay attention of people on the street, but he was always careful when he went down _this_ street.

Because at the end of the street was the graveyard.

The large, red gravestone in shape of swirling flames rose up above all the others. The symbol of Hokage's that laid there to rest. It was a place where his beloved was now, a place where his beloved didn't belong to.

As always, there were people visiting the cemetery, so he didn't enter when he arrived. He wanted to be alone. The rain had started falling again, and people scurried off in a hurry, not to get drenched.

Fugaku looked up at the sky and sighed. Did Minato sent the rain to chase the people away so he could enter? He would like to believe that very much.

He entered the graveyard slowly, hands in his pockets and no expression on his face. The soft thumps of his shoes were barely audible over the rain and water splashed as he walked.

Uchiha Fugaku stood in front of the Hokage monument, silent.

**-flash-**

_"I didn't do it, I swear to god... or whatever that is watching over me!"_

_"Uh-huh, right... the strings had cut themselves. How convenient."_

_He blond teen laughed, scratching back of his head. "Yes, well they are thin and you tied iron with them. What did you expect?"_

_"I expected you not to mess with my project," Fugaku hissed._

_The iron box made fizzing noise. The teens looked at each other, before they scurried off as fast as they could to take cover behind the nearest pile of stones. And they were lucky because the box exploded mere seconds after._

_Fugaku coughed, trying to wave off the dust that rose up while Minato dusted off his clothes._

_"See!? This is what happens when you mess with stuff you know nothing about," Fugaku complained._

_Minato blinked: "Didn't you plan for it to explode?"_

_They stared at each other for a long moment before Minato burst out laughing and Fugaku sighed, restraining himself from hitting his head repeatedly on the wall._

**-flash-**

_"I finally did it!" The blonde exclaimed loudly, tossing small pieces of paper and kunai's in the air. Fugaku sighed, but nodded. _

_"Yes. Yes you did."_

_Minato looked at him, and Fugaku felt as if the blond wanted to say something. His eyes were wide and there was that always present smile on his lips._

_"Thanks, Fu. I couldn't have mastered it without you," Minato said barely audibly, leaning on the tree behind him._

_For some reason, the older boy felt like blushing up to his ears. He looked away, huffing: "If you tell anyone and I mean ANYONE, that I helped you master Thunder God technique, I'll beat the crap out of you." _

_Minato laughed and walked over to him, tapping his shoulder: "That is, if you can catch me first." Uchiha growled and made a swing at him, completely missing him since Minato disappeared._

_Fugaku sighed: "You'll be the death of me..."_

**-flash-**

_"So you came..."_

_A nod._

_"I didn't expect you to."_

_"Why?"_

_Pause. A shift._

_"I thought you hated it..."_

_"Don't go assume the things on your own, blondie..."_

_Wide eyes._

_"I..."_

_"...Just be quiet, idiot..."_

_Shift. Pause. Rustle. Gasp._

"_Fugaku..."_

_"I said be quiet..."_

_A smile. A chuckle. A hug and yet another kiss._

-**flash**-

It was like a nightmare. The memories of them together, the warm and sweet indulgences in each other's presence, now haunted him, not giving him peace. Will it ever be over? Will he ever be able to forget it all?

Maybe if he didn't visit the grave anymore would help. Maybe if he focused on his own sons and family that he will be able to forget. And maybe… that won't help him at all. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to start crying. Not that anyone would see and know of it. The tears won't be recognizable in this rain. Minato's charm had dazzled him, and his love doomed him.

-**flash**-

"_It's been quite a while…" the blond whispered. The night air was thick from sinister chackra and night sky burned in red color. The Uchiha felt huge lump in his throat. Luckily for him, Minato didn't seem to have problem talking. And he didn't mind it. He loved his voice. _

"… _I must admit I miss our friendship." Friendship? Is that what Minato wanted to talk about before going to fight? Stupid friendship!? Never… there was never only friendship between them. They both knew that. So why was blond saying this?_

"_I miss the talks we used to have," Minato trailed off, looking at the stone below his feet. "I often catch myself sitting alone, thinking about how you are and what are you doing," he smiled slightly, kicking stone. Even if they threatened to kill him, Fugaku couldn't find words to speak up right now._

"_I miss all the things we did. The problems of your clan, the crazy made-up stories I tell you just to make you roll your eyes and smile." Minato turned towards Fugaku, who stood frozen in spot, not blinking, as if he will miss something that Minato says._

"_I miss your smile, your voice, your hands…" Minato slowly took the other's hand, as if it was made of crystal and it will break any time soon. The blond placed it on his cheek, closing his eyes tightly: "Above all these things… I just miss you."_

"_Minato…" was the only thing the Uchiha could utter at that moment, before wrapping hands tightly around him, burring his face into golden locks. There was another explosion in the distance, a cue that Minato has to go. That Fugaku needs to let him go._

"_If something happens and I don't come back, don't take it as 'the end'. Because there is no true end… not with us…" and with that, he disappeared in the darkness, leaving Uchiha behind. _

-**flash**-

He didn't remember anything else from that night. It was like a black hole in his memory. And it was better that way. He didn't want to remember anything else from that night.

With a heavy sigh, Fugaku picked up himself and gathered his thoughts, leaving the graveyard silently. It was dark and street lanterns were lit. The rain was still falling, but subduing slowly. He made his way home, not in a hurry. He told Mikoto he will be late today. If she was waiting for him, then she was a fool.

He closed the door silently behind him. He didn't expect to be awaited by his oldest son by the door to his bedroom.

"Father, are you alright?" Itachi asked, eyes locked on his father.

Fugaku sighed, nodding, "I am. Just a little tired. You should be in bed by now."

"I was worried. You weren't here all day."

"I had business in town. Where is your mom?" Fugaku asked offhandedly, taking off his raincoat and entering the bedroom, followed by Itachi.

"In room with Sasuke. He woke up crying."

"Go back to bed. You have training tomorrow," Fugaku grunted, sitting down on the writing table and turning on the light.  
Itachi stared at him for a long moment, watching his father write a note in the scroll, before nodding: "I will. Good night father," and with that he left the room, closing the door silently behind him, leaving the older Uchiha with head buried in his hands.

_**Today was just one of those days where everything around me reminded me of you and every song I heard was somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have**_**.**

**OWARI…**


End file.
